My last day of clinical (for Nsg 4)

I said at the beginning of the semester that I didn't want to be a L&D, Post-partum or Peds nurse. Now that I have been through the semester and had experience in each of these areas, I am only that much more confident that I WILL NOT BE A MATERNAL/CHILD NURSE!!! Today stunk. It was boring, but okay to start with. Then everything went bad all at once. Long story short, custody with children is a big issue and one that I'm not sure I want to have to deal with often. At least with (most) adults, you don't have to worry about who makes their decisions. Children are minors and most of them are not able to make decisions on their own. So who makes the decision? And what if someone else in their life doesn't like that decision. Now what?
I will be SOOOO glad to get back onto the med-surg floors again.

Tonight is my next to last class in Micro--I can hear the choir starting to warm up to begin the Hallelujah Chorus! Really, I have loved the class. I have even liked that I had it at night, one night a week. I like getting lots of information all at once rather than small snippets over 3 days per week. I don't like that it is on Wednesday night. I miss going to church. My final is on Monday, so next Wednesday is my last night to miss. Yeah!

I have only 6 more days of nursing class (which includes the final exam) and the tension is so thick that you'd have to cut it with a knife! Many people are borderline passing or borderline failing. Others are losing hope of passing. Others (including me) are just trying to keep our noses clean, pass the next unit test and final and move on. This semester has been tough. I'm not even sure that I can say just why. The instructors are phenomenal--I have enjoyed each one. Clinical has been fairly easy. The papers weren't bad and were few. However, tests were a booger and somehow we always had one more thing to do, which kept our adrenaline up and tires us out.
This brings me to my next issue....
Why, when we are not good at something or we don't excel at it to the level we desire, do we try to find someone, other than ourselves, to blame? Why when the test is hard do we blame the instructor for writing bad questions or not teaching correctly or blame the book for being hard to read? Why do we always pass the blame, rather than admitting something like 1) I didn't study enough, 2) I didn't study the right stuff, 3) maybe I just messed up or 4) maybe I'm just not good at this. Over the past few weeks, I heard so many gripes from people in the class and I have had to bite my tongue to keep from saying something--oh wait, I did say something. I was tactful though, mom.
This week, I heard someone say to an instructor that she doesn't understand why they test on stuff that isn't in the book. You could have knocked me over with a feather! I have never (and I mean never) thought that the instructors tested on anything other than what was in the book. Granted, they do not always test on the things they stress in class, and maybe they don't mention some things in class that will be tested on, but the test ALWAYS comes from the assigned reading material. If I know the reading material--I can pass the test. I heard someone say that we've been told there are just things we're supposed to know. I can't imagine one of our instructors saying that unless it is the synthesis of information from prior semesters or prior tests. Technically, we're supposed to learn those things for good, not just for the test.
I know my posts lately have been ranting quite a bit, and I apologize. I just want someone to hear me say that I believe this program that I have invested the last 18 months in and plan to finish in another semester has been fair. The instructors have showed me concern and caring and have invested significant time into me as well. I want someone to hear me say that I believe these women are doing everything they can to make me a safe and competent nurse and help me pass NCLEX. Thank you for listening to me--I feel better now.

1. Gas is 1.79 at a gas station here in town. Who'd a thunk?
2. I got a new pair of nursing shoes because I washed my old ones and they fell apart. I had to have white shoes and New Balances were the only ones I found that were white enough. I've always tried on NB's when I shoe shopped, but never bought any because they don't fit my feet right. I prefer Nike's. I still prefer Nike's. I'm hoping these break in better than they have so far. We'll see...
3. I'm so sleepy. I really just want to go home. I want to go to sleep. Tomorrow is my off day, but I have to take Bama to the vet for his last round of shots and the DirecTV man is coming to fix our confused satelite box. No rest for the weary.
4. One more school day until Thanksgiving break.
5. When I get out of school, I don't ever want to see another pair of maroon scrubs again! I used to think scrubs were cool and though wearing them would be so great. I'm so tired of them. It's like eating a PB&J sandwich at every meal for 2 years. Blah.
6. Got another test tonight, so I must go study.

Stay tuned...